Web all rounder

I need someone who can find someone who can:

* charge per task rate of 0.15 btc/15 minute block of work
* speak english well
* doesn’t mind bits of work, small tasks or big tasks
* do adhoc online tasks
* do quality detailed internet research
* preferably do jobs yourself or summarize the best experts or service provider options
* problem solve creatively
* follow instructions carefully
* learn my style, work fast and effectively
* enjoy big bonuses for good work
* discount if they aren’t proud of their work
* eat raw garlic
* laugh at my jokes even if there not funny

First tasks:
** Summarize best mobile, pad & laptop options with: best battery life no contract unlocked open source, vendors accepting bitcoin
** Find me some seo gospel and summarize seo experts
** Research open source maps that do routing and find comparisons with Google API
* Test out my competitor offerings then summarize for me

🙂